I Am She, The Out-Station Student

Like an Ocean I grew, Reticent yet Victorious

Hello everyone! I am Asawari, hailing from Bhopal (that has invariably been infamous for its Gas Tragedy History and many don’t even know where to mark it in a map) which basically means that I’m a small town girl. Having said that, I would also say that I totally love my city and it has a very pleasant character of its own. But here, I would not praise about my birth city but would like to throw some light from my torch, on a city that helped me groom myself in all possible ways.

Mumbai, ‘the city of dreams’, as it has been quoted legendarily. People walk into the city filled with expectations and hope so as to fulfil their dreams and wishes. I too came with a dream to get famous, to achieve something notable, and to accomplish something that makes my parents proud of me. I came into this gigantic city like a small country mouse, knowing nothing about the city or about its people. However, I was well-equipped with a lot of energy and happiness. I was also petrified initially due the mammoth size of the city and its abundant population speaking so many different languages, coming from a variety of backgrounds. I was nervous about my appearance, my walk, my style (as I had none), my behaviour and moreover the reaction and feedback that I would get. Small towns are like home, as you know how a person will react to a certain encounter. There is no fear of remaining overlooked or disregarded as it’s like a small world. Mumbai was like too much in so less time happening to me. I had no prep time so I let everything come my way without making myself a barrier. There were chances of disregard. Or of not being noticed at all! I was anxious, but I knew one person the most on whom I could rely for good and no matter whatever happens, she would always remain by my side and who was………….., I.

New college, new friendships, new crushes, new professors, new place to live and everything around me was new, fresh, exciting and alluring. I could feel it in my big eyes, how much I wanted to capture in one go. Being an outstation student was in itself a very novel feeling. The feeling when everyone else from this new city told me, “Oh my God! You live by yourself! How did you convince your parents? That’s so exciting!” or “You live in a apartment…that’s so cool mahn!” and also many a times, “Living in a new city is a tough job….we couldn’t have done that!” It was like I was receiving several rewards and medals in my imaginary world. The college life started with a great deal of emotional exhilaration and now is my last year and the only thing I would like to do is to reminisce my memories and put them in the box of hope and happiness. All these three years I have had quite lot ups and downs. It was like walking a different road altogether in life. I had come to Mumbai with a desire for fame and getting noticed. Now at the penultimate time of parting, I guess I have found something unusual which I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

I found Substance and Knowledge. Khalil Gibran has rightly quoted, “Perplexity is the beginning of knowledge.” I ran for the last two years like all others to reach somewhere. I was in the middle of a race to nowhere when I came to realisation that to achieve something and to run for something I will have to dream a bigger dream and find that dream instead. I got a clearer vision only when I pondered into the question, “Why the race?” I asked myself the same a hundred times before going to sleep and double of that after walking up!

Answer was right in front of me like the silent calm ocean. The best thing to do in life is to relieve oneself from the burden of expectation. You can achieve anything you want to, only when you believe you can. Mumbai taught me various things but most importantly it taught me to have the courage and conviction and taking pride on who I was. I don’t need to become Lady Gaga and sing “I was born this way” to prove my point. In Mumbai being silent is having either no clue of what is happening around or …most of the time being dumb. But silence is golden indeed. If everybody else wishes to gurgle, chatter and make noise like a river…. I would rather choose to aspire to become the ocean. From the dusk till the dawn countless incidents occur in plentiful people’s lives every day, every year. Only one thing that doesn’t change with the transient time is The Ocean. The ocean has its own character and besides the trough or crests dancing over it, it stays there throughout.

So then does it mean that it is stagnant and sporadic? No my friends that is untrue. The truth about my love and respect towards the ocean is because of the profundity it has. It is always grounded perpetually very deep inside the earth. My knowledge had always seen the dimension of length and width however, after coming to Mumbai I got a new dimension of depth. Deepening the roots of wisdom can only be attained when the mind is calm and silent. I think there’s a lesson learnt by me and by many others who must have had experiences likewise.

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.Confucius   

-Ashi